Drug Addiction Stories & Info

It’s a little after 2 in the morning. I can’t sleep. Monday is going to be rough and I just want to have a drink so bad. I can’t chance it, though. I have to keep my head clear when all I want is to just get drunk and forget what life has given me because of two very special people, my daughter and my son. One is here, asleep in the other room, the other was murdered a year ago. 

My husband and I had some problems. We split up. I just knew we would get back together but some girl a few years younger than us caught his eye. Before I knew it, they were living together while I was pregnant with our baby girl.

Last year, he picked up our three year old son and took him over there to spend a few days. I was prepared to go into labor any day. It was the last time I saw either of them. My husband’s girlfriend? She was on crack and also seeing another guy. The two of them were messed up and caught by my husband. He began yelling at them. Told them both to get out according to the neighbors who could hear it. One of them called 911 but it was too late.

Before the police arrived, the guy pulled a gun on my husband and then shot our baby for screaming. Then he shot the girlfriend (she survived) before turning the gun on himself.

I actually went into labor at the service for my son and husband. Now I have the most beautiful little girl in the world and she keeps me sane. I feel sad for her, though. She will never know her wonderful big brother or her special father. She will never have the protective arm of either one.

Still, I do what I can to give her a good life. I work hard and I have her in a wonderful day care center that encourages parents to pop in. I spend time with her in Mommy and Me on Saturdays and we are members of a really good church.

There are times like tonight, though, when I just want a drink, when I just want to forget what happened and pretend my little boy is in the other room sound asleep in his bed. There are times when I want to pretend my husband is at work and will be home for supper. There are times when I want to wake up and find out this past year was just a horrible nightmare.

I hear my little girl stirring. I guess I woke her up with my typing and moving around in here. I only hope and pray she never goes through what I did as a mother. One of these days, when she is old enough to understand, I will tell her how she saved my own sanity and how she is my personal hero.

Several years ago I was addicted to drugs. I took some money that did not belong to me. Now I live with a record and a hard time getting a job. I will take anything but as soon as people hear I have a record they walk away.

I don’t know what to do. My girlfriend broke up with me. She said she doesn’t need a guy that can’t get a job. It isn’t like I’m not trying. But I can’t even get a job at a fast food restaurant. How am I suppose to do the right thing if I keep getting turned down?

The other day I ran into an old buddy I use to smoke crack with. He is still into it. He invited me back to his place to have some. I was tempted, I really was. I mean, why try if I am going to get the door slammed in my face? Why go out there if I am going to get rejected? But I have been clean for three years so I just shook my head, said “no thanks” and walked away.

The crazy thing? I have friends who did drugs who have jobs. I have friends who beat up people who have jobs. They stole money, too, but those charges were dropped in order to get the felony charge plea bargained. My misdemeanor has me kicked to the curb while their felonies are getting a tax credit these days for companies.

I’m going to go to a meeting now. Writing this out, getting my feelings out, it made me feel better. I see from your site that I am not alone in having problems. I actually see my problems are not as bad as those of some of your readers. Thanks for having a site where people can share. It’s like going to a support meeting. Knowing I am not alone helps a lot.

Somewhere out there is the job for me. In the meantime, I keep doing odd jobs for people who know my parents and my brother. I keep going to my meetings and I am keeping a positive attitude. Okay, most of the time, I am keeping a positive attitude. You know something? I know I am a winner. Walking away from temptation the other day proved that. Thanks again for letting me get this off my chest.

Hi, the story I read Mama Listens to Me Now brought back something I would like to share if I could. My mother was on drugs throughout my childhood, too. Then one day, she got HIV from an infected needle. My mother died of AIDS when I was thirteen years old. I went to live with my aunt and her family while my mother was sick. They let my mother stay, too, until she got to the point where she needed around the clock care. After the funeral, my aunt gave me a journal from my mother. When my mother was diagnosed with AIDS, she began writing in it to me. She knew she would not be around for many of my experiences in life so she tried to be there for me in advance 

My mother had written in it daily for me for as long as she could. Then she would also put in sections in a different part of the journal for dating, sex, breaking up, friendships, school, dreams, drugs, money, doing the right thing, marriage, children and faith. She wanted me to not only have advice from her at the right time in life but to learn from her mistakes. And, she wanted me to know she loved me.

My mother’s journal to me helped the night of my first kiss. It helped when my first boyfriend dumped me for a cheerleader. It helped when I had a friend who was cutting herself and I went to that friend’s parents based on my mother’s advice.

I wrote in a different journal in response to my mother’s, how her advice helped, how I missed her, how I loved her. The only thing more precious to me than that journal would have been having my mother back instead.

My mother taught me to stay away from drugs. She told me quite frankly in the journal how she got hooked on drugs in high school and how the only thing she ever did right was have me. She wrote she had no right to ask anything of me but that if she could, it would be that I never do drugs. She wrote that if I steered clear of drugs, it would mean she had not died in vain after all. I promised her I wouldn’t and I never have.

I have a young daughter now and I write in a journal that I plan to give to her some day along with my mother’s. She is twelve and she knows why her grandmother died before she was born. Not only did my mother’s wish come true for me, I think it will come true for my daughter. I feel that if it does, I have my mother to thank for that as well.

I just wanted to share this because the story someone shared on your site reminded me that other girls have lost their mothers to drugs and not just me. Thank you for sharing.