When Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Affects Others
I did not really know anything about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome until I met Casey. He was a neighbor boy of about 12. He had some facial abnormalities and another neighbor told me he had been born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She also said to be careful with my youngest around him. I did not know what she meant till the a couple of months later.
We lived on a military base. Just outside our back fence was the neighborhood playground. My two younger children, Anna, who was five and Adam, who was nine, were out there playing. Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door. Casey’s father stood there and informed us he had phoned the S.P.’s the security police, because Casey came home with a bloody nose and he wanted them to arrest our teenage son for hitting his son. However, Andrew had been in the house and we were all confused.
That is, until Adam walked up and, seeing Casey, went after him again. It turned out that when I had gone into the house to answer the phone, Casey had attempted to pull down Anna’s pants. Her big brother, who was four years older than her and three years younger than Casey, lunged after him and hit his nose in the effort to protect his little sister. When the S.P.’s heard the entire story, it left little doubt who was responsible as Adam was simply defending his little sister.
We had always taught our children fighting was not the answer. However, Adam was not punished for what he did that day. I did do some research on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and found out that it does cause a child to have mental problems as well as physical ones and that problems with the law can occur.
Anna and Adam are now grown and in college. As the mother of three, I could never see putting my unborn children at risk with any form of drug or alcohol during pregnancy. I have wondered once in a while where Casey is and how he is doing today. I am proud of Adam for standing up for his little sister; there is no question about that.
I do not know if what happened that day at the park was connected to the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome that Casey was born with. What I have learned over the years tells me it is quite possible. If so, Casey was just as much a victim that day as what Anna was but it did not stop it from being wrong. I am just glad that even in the security of a military base with the playground right outside our back door that I did not let Anna out of my sight unless her dad or one of her brothers was with her at all times.
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Absolutely agree. When the case involves teen mothers, it just emphasizes the need for teen drug rehab programs to help young men and women that the consequences of their actions go far beyond that of the individual. Keep up the good work with these super posts!!
I see that this story has copyright and just hope that the permission of the children (now adults) was obtained. I wonder who the photo is of because even if it’s not the original boy. I would not like for my sons picture (who has FAS) to be linked to a story like this so publicly.
I find stories like this so sad, the difficult and challenging behavior of a child with FAS serves as a warning to mothers who might drink in pregnancy, be warned your child may turn out like this. It’s like the children are mistakes, difficult and without any merit.
I adopted my son at 13 months, I didn’t know then that his birth mother was an alcoholic (I did know that she had mental health issues) or that he had FAS. He is wonderful and amazing and so caring towards me, he works hard at school, even though he has learning difficulties, all his teachers love him. He is a great gymnast, good at art and sings in a choir. Of course he struggles in life, he tried to strangle himself when he was younger because he felt sad and didn’t understand that we would be devestated, he has very little understanding of what other people feel. The FAS has also caused autism, so life can be very stressful for him and sometimes his behaviour is not good. Fortunately his impulse control is good and he likes to follow rules, so I don’t think he would have the same difficulties as the boy in the story.
Although we all hope that no more children will be born with FAS. The children who have the condition are people with merits, who can lead worthwhile lives, despite their difficulties.