Drug Addiction Stories & Info

i started doing drugs when i was 12 and i lost all my friends and when i was growing up my mom and dad did drugs too, so i thought it would be fine to do it to i would always invite my “so called friends” over to do ectasy it made us feel good about ourseleves but really all it did was kill our bodies every day at a time. One day one of the people who did drugs wif me got rushed to the hospital for ODing and he almost died, now he cant talk or even walk i couldnt help but think “” if i dont stop that might hapen to me”" 3 months after that happened i quit i was age 14 and today im 17 and havent toched a drug again. people shouldnt do drugs and if ur “friends tell u too they arent really ur friends”" I am a healthy individual and i regret starting drugs. so plz kids dont do drugs!!!!1

thank you for sharing your stories.

A very inspirational blog. I became addicted to painkillers when I was 17, after I was diagnosed with arthritis. I was a very difficult time and an even more difficult recovery.

wow amazing stories

my mom did drugs when she was about 17. so i know better than to do them, but my friends are pressuring me to do them. one of the only people that i am close to (which is my boyfriend) is telling me to not do them. i am alomst 15. and i have started to realize addiction runs in my family. mainly just drinking but drugs too. I drink already and i love it. i have recently started smoking, ciggs and weed. ALL my friends do it and a majority of my school does it. so i tried it. now i love it. but my parents are strong about not doing it, because they are christian, and they say its wrong , and i know it is but i still want to do it. i cant say im addicted though ….

thats what im saying. do all these people think were addicted? just cause we like to get a buzz?

Amaizing Storiess (:

We sell our dreams and potential to escape through that buzz.

My mum gets a phone-call, from sams parents declaring how i have been doing drugs and this bombshell of a call was backed up by concrete facts. My mum, supremely saddened and shocked by all this immediately backs into the cave so many people have. Let me first explain this cave, basically when something detrimentally saddening or shocking occurs, a humans (masochistic) first response is to ostracise themselves, then root their power somehow, then feel emotion and fling insults and accusations here there and everywhere then inevitably the thoughts come back to them and how they affected the person who has saddened them and it inevitably comes back to them feeling sorrow for themselves. So, back to the story, i explain to my parents, whole-heartedly and admittedly teary eyed, that i have never will nor will ever do hard drugs. Blinded by masochism and the fear of me being a drug addict they chose not to take my word. I am shipped off to the modern day concentration camp thats called rehab and ordered nicely to piss in a cup so it can be tested for drugs, inevitably it comes up clean. Wrongly i thought i was in the clear, and within a week accusations of me doing a drug called amnesia come up and i found out i am going to be shipped off to rehab because “they fear for my life” admittedly i read my mums emails to find this out, but nonetheless i am shaken to the core by this. Not only, is the fact of me doing a drug called “amnesia” untrue but i am shocked by the ignorance and bullheadishness my parents conducted going into this situation. When me and my friend reffered to amnesia via text, we were talking about the type of weed (amnesia haze) which we smoked not even 3 weeks ago. So now here i am, screaming into my pillows, and feeling forsaken by love, family and essentially all that is important in life writing words that probably will never be seen. Before i know it ill just be another boy lost in the lies of this world, just another “drug addict” roaming the streets because i have no where else to go. Is it virtuous for me to be resentful over the ever-looming aspect of being sent off to some modern day auschwitz in america under false accusations?

any solutions anyone?

I’m 19 &+ I think my mom is sniffinq cocaine.I found a bag of white powder &+ a straw several times. Lately she’s been a total different person. She qet’s angry at me and my family for minor thinqs,her lanquaq is diqusting when she’s mad;; she talks about killinq herself,and is just an all around depressed person.she sleeps all day at times &+ refuses to qet out of bed &+ sometimes throws up daily.:( I dnt kno what I did to make her start,but I just want her to be happy aqain &+ stop usinq. My mother has other serious medical problems &+ takes medicine on top of her addiction.I dnt want her to die. Idk what to do! We use to be so happy as a family..and for some reason I can’t help but feel responsible..&+ its my job to help her but I dnt know how since no one knows what’s really qoinq on with her but me. I love my mother and still thinks she is the most beautiful person ever but I wish she thouqht of herself that way too.

Im 22 years old and im addicted to any drug that takes me away from reality, I just had a baby 2 months ago, and in this past month i have dont so much pain pills, weed, extacsy, acid, coke, anything i have gotten my hands on.. LAst night it hit me like a smack to the face, its time to stop it has controlled me since i was 11 years old. I just want to know what it is like to be clean and healthy, to know what it feels like to get up everyday and not snorting a pain pill to get thru my day. Can i ever get that natural happiness back, that natural engery

I am not addicted to drugs, but I have tried, alot of ecstasy 500 pills +++ but haven’t touched ecstasy in about a year, only when I was younger, I snorted and smoked heroin a few times about a year ago, and I have done alot of coke when I was younger, probably have snorted over an ounce myself for the time I was doing it.
I have even bought 8-balls of rock and just sat in basement smoking and playing video games all night.
I have even smoked crystal meth numerous times over the years.
But all that never really bothered me, my true addiction has only ever been marijuana for some reason, when I don’t have any, I start breathing harder and want to smoke right away.. What is up with this?
I thought marijuana was not suppose to be addictive, and I can’t get enough, my day cannot start without a puff, it makes me very lazy and changes my mood set, and worst part is, it makes me feel normal!.. I have been smoking weed since I was 13, and I am now 23, and still smoke bong, pipes, blunts daily… I keep wanting to stop, but i’ll go for like a week, and all of a sudden i’ll make that one phone call that fucks it all up.
Is this a real addiction?
All the other drugs I have done, I DON’T ever think about doing anymore, all the buzzes were AMAZING no doubt, but after the drugs are all done, I just wanna smoke weed!
I don’t even know if this is worth saying, because people have addictions alot worse then mine, but even then, I need to stop smoking pot, and I can’t, its very irritating that I cannot get off something that is not even suppose to be addictive in the first place.
It has been over a year since I have done any type of hard drug!
Except that I smoked some crystal meth again about 5 – 6 months back, other then that I have been clean from everything except weed and sometimes alcohol.
How do I stop this addiction?
I feel like asking for help on marijuana just isn’t worth it, but it makes me so lazy at times and it feels great, I have lost several jobs because I stayed home and just smoked bud and played video games.
I am 23 now, and still doing the same shit, I can’t outgrow it as much as I try.
What should I do about this?

I am not addicted to drugs, but I have tried, alot of ecstasy 500 pills +++ but haven’t touched ecstasy in about a year, only when I was younger, I snorted and smoked heroin a few times about a year ago, and I have done alot of coke when I was younger, probably have snorted over an ounce myself for the time I was doing it.
I have even bought 8-balls of rock and just sat in basement smoking and playing video games all night.
I have even smoked crystal meth numerous times over the years.
But all that never really bothered me, my true addiction has only ever been marijuana for some reason, when I don’t have any, I start breathing harder and want to smoke right away.. What is up with this?
I thought marijuana was not suppose to be addictive, and I can’t get enough, my day cannot start without a puff, it makes me very lazy and changes my mood set, and worst part is, it makes me feel normal!.. I have been smoking weed since I was 13, and I am now 23, and still smoke bong, pipes, blunts daily… I keep wanting to stop, but i’ll go for like a week, and all of a sudden i’ll make that one phone call that fucks it all up.
Is this a real addiction?
All the other drugs I have done, I DON’T ever think about doing anymore, all the buzzes were AMAZING no doubt, but after the drugs are all done, I just wanna smoke weed!
I don’t even know if this is worth saying, because people have addictions alot worse then mine, but even then, I need to stop smoking pot, and I can’t, its very irritating that I cannot get off something that is not even suppose to be addictive in the first place.
It has been over a year since I have done any type of hard drug!
Except that I smoked some crystal meth again about 5 – 6 months back, other then that I have been clean from everything except weed and sometimes alcohol.
How do I stop this addiction?
I feel like asking for help on marijuana just isn’t worth it, but it makes me so lazy at times and it feels great, I have lost several jobs because I stayed home and just smoked bud and played video games.
I am 23 now, and still doing the same shit, I can’t outgrow it as much as I try.
What should I do about this?

I would like to quit fully and work properly.

My problem started when I was about 8 years old when I got my first taste of beer. I was at a friends house and saw that his dad kept a lot of alcohol in the house. I knew he wouldn’t noticed if I took one beer. So me and my friend cracked one open and it all went down hill from there. We would drink his dad’s whiskey, vodka, beer, and any other alcohol he kept in the house. When I was 10 years old, I tried marijuana for the first time. To be completely honest, it really wasn’t as bad as my alcohol problem. My drinking problem went on for years. When I was 15 years old, I had connections to a source for vodka and I would finish a bottle in one to two days. I was also buying a lot more weed. I didn’t feel cooler than everybody else. I was just feeding my habit. When I was 17, I was at a party where I drank so much, I blacked out. When I woke up, I found my face covered in marker and my pants went missing. That’s when I realized I looked like a complete idiot and decided the drinking needed to stop. It was hard trying to find a way around drinking. I tried playing baseball to get my mind off of it, but I found out it’s actually pretty boring and caused me to drink just for the fun of it. I tried a lot more sports and I even tried talking to a drugs counselor, but nothing could stop me. I still had a weed habit and eventually joined a nameless gang (actually, more of a small group) that would sell weed around town. All my best friends were already in it, so I thought, “what do I have to lose?” As I started to grow and sell weed, I noticed something. I was the only one with alcohol problems. Everyone else seemed happy with just weed. That’s when I tried to replace booze with weed. Needless to say, it was actually pretty effective. I’m 24 now and I only drink during special occasions. I found out my liver was damaged from all of my drinking problems and that if I never drank, I might have had a better chance at going to college, or finishing high school for that matter. I smoke much more weed to control my past addiction and have yet to see any negative side effects aside from smelling like weed all the time. My wife is a waitress and I still sell dope with all of my friends, so we make a pretty good living. We have a nice home in the local industrial park area and a wonderful 7 year old son. Thank God I didn’t get into the hard drugs, but I still made some pretty stupid choices. I’m thinking of cutting off of weed even though it pretty much saved my life, and I feel that I’ll find a way to stop and I might even get a real job.

I am 14 years old and have recently started doing crystal meth.Well for about 6 months.I dnt no how to stop.I tell my self everyday to stop but whenever some brings it up i always agree to do it.Ive noticed that when i sneeze blood sometimes comes out.I dnt noo if this is because my addiction or not.Just some please try and help me.Im afraid im gunna do something dumb.

stop…as easy as that! stop! tell yourself you must!

The worst feeling in the world in my eyes is waking up in a bed watching the florescent lights pass by you in a hall way with maybe five people surrounding you’ realizing you are in hospital . the first natural reaction that comes to mind is to pull the tube out of your nose and rip the air tubes and iv out then to hear the cop say Daniel, leave all that alone don’t pull it out .,,…… the only thing you can think of is i don’t want to be here why am i here what will my family think what happened what is going on????? ) the cop started to tell me I am in a hospital while a nurse is asking me for my name address etc. and i had to try hard. to think of these simple questions. at this point i was still high as the E.MT. Explain how lucky i am to be alive if they had gotten their two minutes later. I would be dead i think to myself yea I’m so lucky six months ago i had a job a girlfriend a decent life and i lost it all due to the idolization that drugs are cool and I want to try them all and now I’m sitting here in this bed hand cuffed to the bed rails with cops asking me like I’m some kind of scum bag how long have you been using ,,,,, do you share your needles making me feel like the worst scum bag(this all happened maybe within 60 seconds of leaving the ambulance and then came the narcan i felt like i was dropped in a ice bath i was already cold as hell at that point then vomiting threw my nose tube the cop told me to pull it out I didn’t know it went all the way down to my tummy . I started waking up I realized my girlfriend was still gone due to my everyday drug use not limited to any one substance anything and everything I could get my hands on, I sat their for like three hours thinking at what point did I lose my mind, when did I choose drugs over love I realized it was too late I had already lost my mind. my dad came to pick me a few hours later(before this event my family only new I drank all the time they didn’t even know I smoked pot, but now they knew I was a full blown drug addict) that was the first time i saw him in months it was very emotional I’m sure even more so for him he waited their till i was released i should have agreed to go to rehab rite then and their but i didn’t (at the time I felt id never use again) unfortunately I had no clue about the progression of the disease my dad took me to get new clothes and shoes .mine were very dirty (this was after a two week run on the streets) you tend to lose grip of things like appearance and being clean and things like that when you lose your mind he told me i would stay with him for now one away from ppl places and things i said thank you to him and we went home I stayed home that night thankful of a place to sleep and a shower and food it didn’t take but 24 hours for me to be back on the street looking for any way I could to get high to not feel the pain I felt deep inside
Little did I know at the time I was only hiding from reality

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

This was about a year ago today after 4 more overdoses 2 suicide attempts 1 DUI 30 days rehab 3 crises centers two relapses and about 10.000 in fines now i have 4 months and 5 days clean today.

i had a job a girlfriend family and my health. drugs took it all away in a matter of about a year and a half after losing my best friend in November i took said to myself enough is enough and i stopped
I could sit here all nite and type you similar true events that have happened to me the last several years but it would never end I hope this has some effect to someone in a positive way

@Dalton Robbs
I have a an addiction which has nothing to do with drugs, however what do we need to stop any addiction? If it not chemicals we are addicted to, its love for what it makes us feel emotionally. Its to easy to say just stop. Ask yourself a question, what would happen if you did stop? Think of a time when you weren’t addicted. How did it make you feel when something great happened? Try to think about how awesome it would be just to have a something to laugh at with out having to be wacked? I used to drink my way through uni, and sadly I don’t remember many positive things. I kept a diary luckily, and a lot of the things I wrote when I was wasted seem so stupid? I suppose if your addicted, let you curiosity look for the amazing uniqueness of reality, unaltered, plain and interesting. Find a hobby, even if you documenting (photography) the drug scene in an artistic way. just do it. It was my way out. Drugs can take you to some unique perspectives and places. I am saying dont do them, but If you have to stay in the scene be apart of it in other ways. Who knows you could be the next Larry Clark?

Hi I’m 15 years old, 5’2″, blonde hair and blue eyed. On October 10th, 2009 I was taken away. On October 11th, 2009 at 6 a.m I was raped by a 20 year old man that was with his friend who helped him take me away to their house in Pt. Pleasant NJ. Ever since that day when I left the emergency room I’ve been heavy on drugs: Marijuana, Robo, Triple C, Coke, Pain-killers, Alcohol, K2, Newport 100 cigarettes,and many others. Today is the first day I have quit 100% smoking, drinking, & all drugs of every kind. I’ve been to court on November 12th, 2011 to close the case of my tragic event, the guy ended up 4 years in NJ State Prison. I am a very depressed person with no drive to stay alive. I have no talents, no hobby’s, and no interests. I don’t think I’ll live long. I’ve been through mental hospitals, and many problems with police and fights in school. I am pretty smart, but ever since I started doing drugs my grades went down to b’s and c’s from straight a’s. I miss who I use to be but now I don’t understand how to be happy without drugs. My whole family attends IV league schools, besides me (the outcast). I want to keep a diary but when I start writing it’s nothing but nonsense. I need help. I’m known as the girl in AHS that will come to every party with 3 handles of alcohol. I know I’m a pretty girl, so I have at least a good self-esteem, but I am not happy to be living. It scares me. I think drugs make you feel like yourself in the most amazing fantasy world with no problems to worry about. That’s why we are addicts, drugs make us happy. I have tons to say, Now I gotta go. Please help.

My name is maddy, im almost 15 and im addicted to MaryJane.
It all started when i was 13, i started hanging out with people i normally wouldn’t hang out with but i felt like i had knew them all my life. Occasionally me and my girlfriends would get out a can and start smoking the dope, to me all i really knew was that it made you laugh and made you super hungry. We used to just sit there and laugh about everything! I didn’t think anything could be so funny, but as time went on we began doing it more and more, it was during the school holidays so we always said that we would stop straight away when school started, but we didn’t. As months and months went by we began even going to school stoned but we still didn’t admit to our self that we were addicted, people always called us ‘the stoners’ but we never really cared, we just looked at them like they didnt know what their talking about, we slowly started to get bored of dope and turned to alcohol for the week ends, all of us girls would go out with our boys and get bluuu. Id felt like my life was so good and nothing else mattered. Right from the beginning of this id met this boy and i fell completely in love, at first he didn’t mind dope as much but as i kept doing it,well i changed and he didn’t like who i was becomming so he told me to stop and i did, for about a week. But then the day came were everything changed, a period before art class i went into the girls toilets and took speed with them, the next thing i new my heart was beating really fast and my boyfriend had found out. Id never seen him get so upset in my life, he cried infront of everyone and the look in his eyes was like he was going to kill some one. He really did love me and i loved him more than anything i just didn’t know how to show it. He was so against any hard drugs and he just couldn’t believe i did that. About a week later we broke up with me, he tried making us work but he just couldn’t get what i did out of his head. Nearly 8 months together and it just ended like that. I seriously broke down, i started smoking so much more weed than i ever did and drinking myself stupid every weekend. I even woke up in hospital one morning after i nearly died because i drunk too much. I hated life, i thought about killing myself every single day, i had nothing anymore, all i wanted was to have the boy i was in love with back. About 3 months later we got back together and i was so happy agian , i cut down on dope so much and only drank when he was around. But i had to keep me smoking dope a secret from him. I got caught out a couple of times but he forgave me because he loved me so much, and i promised to him that i will not smoke agian. I thought that when i had him back i would be able to stop straight away but i couldn’t, i kept doing it behind his back all the time, i just couldn’t stop, it was like im trapped and i cant ever get out. About a year later he found out that id been doing it behind his back the hole time, he was so disappointed in me, i broke his heart agian, i dont know what’s wrong with me! Were over now but i miss him more than any words could say! Im still smoking dope and i even tried crack and ice the other night and i feel so depressed like nothing in the world matters! I just dont want to be here anymore, im so lonely and if i could take everything back i would! I wish i never started dope in the first place, i have lost the most important people in my life because of it,
Drugs are just not worth it and i wish i knew that before.

hey. i am supposed to do this project for drug-awareness, i sorta need a intresting drug-story, like, parents doing drugs and stuff. Please help me!

My whole life I have been around drugs. My family sold them, my mom was addicted to them, and now I am. Being exposed to things at a young age, and put through things that no child should go through probably is the main cause for what has happened. After divorcing my father before I was three years old, my Mother took my brother and I to live with her second husband. His son sexually abused my brother and I for most of our childhood. After my mom got divorced for the second time, she joined in on the family business and it was all down hill from there. My mom has been battling her crack addiction since I was 6 years old. She is coming up 6 months again next week. She had relapsed many times, lied to me, hurt me, abandoned me, and stole from me. Although our relationship is beginning to heal, you can see growing up was not an easy thing for me. I had my first drink in elementary, I smoked my first joint in junior high, tested out some drugs in high school, but never let them take hold of me. I never wanted to end up like my Mother. Now I am 21 years old and have a cocaine addiction. It was at its worse at the beginning of this year. I was doing it EVERY DAY for 6 months. Then I got in trouble with the law and told my family and friends about my addiction and began to seek help. I stayed clean for a while, and still continue to most of the time. However, I still let it get the best of me. If I feel down, I will just call up my guy to get it, without even thinking. I have also been taking oxys and perks regularly, and have also smoked crack. I lead a good life, and could have a lot going for me. My past still haunts me though, and what I was put through makes happiness hard to come by. I just wish I could feel happy when I am sober. That I could grow to love my sober self. Even though I only do coke and other drugs sometimes I am a chronic weed smoker. I fear ever letting that go because I feel like its who I am now. After smoking something every day for the last 6 years its hard to quit it. And I fear I will never beable to quit coke fully. I will say I am never doing it again and do it the next week. Its killing me

I started drugs when i was 16 when my friend asked me if i wanted to go to a rave and do ecstasy. i said yes and on the ferry we popped 2 pills each and i was rolling all night and thought it was the most amazing thing ever. i went to a rave the following weekend and popped 15 ecstasy pills. i was having seisures and blackingout the whole night. i remember keeping on coming back to reality throughout the night not even knowing what my own name was. i had people pouring bottles of water on me because i was to the point i couldnt drink water and i was super dehydrated. i strated going crossedeyed and a lady came up to me while i didnt know what was going on and i thought it was a cop but i was too high to care/ even know what was going on. i was high staring at about 8pm and finally was able to walk at about 5am the following morning and i had to walk almost a mile to the ferry to go home. when i got home my friends dad came over and told my mom that i was doing drugs and my parents found more drugs in my room and said i had 2weeks to find a place to live. so i had to travel all the way ascross the country to live with my grandparents on a farm in the middle of nowhere. the only way i was coming back home is if i was to stay clean so i lied to my parents and said i would and i came back and not even a week later my friends got me to try oxy. i got addicted to it real fast and was burning through my saved up money from when i was a little kid just to get on some pills. i soon just didnt even care what i was doing to get high and i was railing all kinds of pills at school just to get through the day. i started smoking heroin and i just felt distant from reality and i couldnt even consintrate for probably 20minutes before i was just doing stupid tweeker shit through the whole day until i got drugs in me. i started taking ecstasy more even though i had a super close experience with death but something was just telling me that i had to do it until one time that someone gave me pills that were not clean at all and they were considered some of the nastiest thizz pills out there. i popped 4 of them and i didnt even get high until the next morning when i couldnt sleep and my whole insides felt like they were shutting down. i was crying for days and days and pulling out my hair litereally asking why god has did this to me. i was strung out pretty much for a week on the pills and i lost about 20pounds which already is alot because i was only 170 and 6’5 at the time and dropped down to 150. after the second close experience with death i said that was enough and started smoking weed which i quickly got addicted to. i ended up spending well over 1500dollars in one summer just on marijuana just to feel normal. i havent smoked or did drugs for a couple weeks now and the past couple weeks have been really hard and ive been getting angry at everything and raging because the thc was telling me i NEEDED it but i had to just tell myself i couldnt because i already have lost

all my friends and my parents trust. all my saying is you can quit anything if you really really want to. drugs are not worth loosing your life too.

@Freiends of friends
I think it’s very smart to document your drug use. I have no experience with drugs, but attempted to write a drug screenplay this year and enjoy reading stories about drugs/alcohol. Peace

If anyone knows any other sites or books that would be helpful that would be great… thanx…

Hi, I am here because I need advise on how to deal with my fiance. We Have been together for four years. We had a great relationship until he got hooked on roxys and xanax… We broke up and I moved out. We kept in contact for the 10 months we were apart. We got back together last march and things were going good for a while. He got into a program and takes methadone. Then 2 months ago he started using xanax again.. I get the same thing Im sorry, Im done, and then just does it again.. I dont know what to do. I am so afraid because I know what a lethal combo those 2 drugs are and what they can do to you.. I have tried everything. Nothing works… Im the bad guy because Im alway coming down on him. I cant leave because We have children and he has a child from a pre relationship, and I need to take care of him and also I feel like if I leave he will kill himself… If anyone has any advise on how to deal with an addict please feel free to share… If anyone knows any other sites or books that would be helpful that would be great… Thanx…

well I am 26 facing the fact that i heard my son call another woman mom. And the sad part is I can’t even be mad because while I was in jail facing charges for manufactering meth he depended on my sister. And thank God she was there. Even when I have lost it all This demon is still holding on strong. The hardest thing is being an adult and leaving him where he belongs because until I can swear off this demon I can’t put my son through it again. Facing the truth is the hardest thing I have done besides willing turning my son over for another two years. Someday I will win this battle. I can only blame myself for all the choices in my life. I wake up every morning and wander what my life would be like if I would have quit years ago… I still want a good life but the scary part is I am not sure how to get it. Rehab, counseling, jail, none of them worked for me now I am on my own studying what causes me to use this demon and what it is I am running from. Slowly I am changing myself and I have a lot of prayers going up for me. I continue to struggle with this world as I learn day by day how to slowly walk away from this. My only fear is My son turning out anything like me. Now that should be enough motivation for me to stop but sadly no it is just motivation for me to stay away. Eventually it will be to late to try and take him back so I got two more years and if I haven’t gotten it together by then well I gotta step up to the plate and do the right thing. That is leave him where he has a chance to be something better than his mom. And no matter how bad it hurts its the right thing for him. But, who knows in two years I can be a totally different person. I have set a goal to be quit by Christmas I have already missed the last two with him this one is special it is worth being sober for so I can remember the smile on his face that is momma made it finally.

@Dalton Robbs
hey there to be honest you already are doing something dumb, the first thing you need to do which is extreamly importent is to take yourself out of the group of people you seem to get the attraction of drugs from. then you can start handaling the addiction. but remeber to stay away from them people because if you dont hang around them you cant take the drung. good luck man

First and for most, I was reading top ten myths about addiction, it said that it was a myth to get clean with no help. Really, it’s a myth huh? Well I’m proof that it can happen. To make a long story short I had been an addict for 9 years, using pain medication. I have a lot of health problems so I started receiving it through my doctor, from there I starting slowing running out as soon as I got it so I went to the streets to find it. I was in such a dark place for such a long time and I NEVER want to go back to that. I tried everything. Rehab, meetings, 12 step programs, and even medicine to help me kick the habit. That went on for 5 years. Nothing seemed to work. I had constantly been told if you don’t do this, this or this it won’t work. You can’t do it by yourself with no help. I honestly believe for people as well as for myself when you are told this over and over you believe it. It’s bull crap, don’t listen to these people.. With half of them no matter a degree or not you have NO idea what it’s like, so don’t act like you do because you “went to school” to learn about it. The ones who truly want to help and are compassionate about it have personally been through it. I woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and said out loud I can’t live like this anymore, I was so tired… I flushed what Suboxone I had left and started my journey into sober life. It took me 3 months to stop feeling like crap and another 2 to get my head together. I wanted a complete sober life, so I stopped taking all other medications as well… I also developed a close relationship with God that made things so much better. I cut myself off from everyone, I had too. When I finally started coming around people were shocked with the 360 turn I made. I believe if you want a sober life bad enough and you are willing to work through everything, you can have it. But most important YOU have to want it. I’m not saying I don’t believe in all these other ways in getting help… I just feel like you don’t need medication to get sober, I would know I was on Suboxone for 3 years and nothing… Medicine or not you are going to have to face the music sooner than later, so stand up on your feet, look fear in the face and get it over with so you can enjoy the life you deserve… Sober life is absolutely wonderful. I know that know one knows me, but I was an extreme case… If I can do it, anyone can do it.

I am doing a project for a psychology course and I would like some insight on what got you (specifically college aged women) started with substance abuse. What contributed to your substance abuse? Feel free to be as open and honest as you can. No names will be mentioned in my project unless you say I can. I don’t know much about this subject because I don’t do drugs but I do know possible consequences of drug abuse because my mother is a drug/alcohol addict. My project is due on November 14th so hopefully I can get some good insight by then. Thanks in advance for any stories you might share with me.

My name is Jay, I’m 41yrs old. I took my first drink at the age of 4 and took my last drug 41 days ago, on 10-20-11 I OD’d and died doing coke and heroin speed balls, I have had no real length of any clean time in my entire life, I’ve had a lot of success in my life and some very hard bottoms, this last one almost took me out for good, I was dead for about 3 minutes before my ex brought me back. If anyone out there thinks this disease is not progressive, please take it from a life long alcoholic and severe junkie like myself. If you don’t make that decision to change your life, this disease will kill you. Today, I have 40 days clean and that’s the longest amount of clean time I’ve had for as long as I know. Everyday I wake up is new record for me. This disease has taken me through the gates of hell, I’ve seen and done things that can’t ever be forgiven. And for those of you living in your head, remember this you can’t fix yesterday its already a fucking mess, you can’t control what happens tomorrow, so plant your addicted feet in today and make the best it because that’s all you have.

Worried about drugs? For a friend? For yourself?
A new, most up-to-date book has been published by an Emory Professor – The Addicted Brain. It is an easy read that covers drug toxicity, how to get off drugs, how to find treatment, and many more topics. A drug user has reviewed it and strongly supports it. Go to Amazon.com, click on “books”, enter “Michael Kuhar (the author)” and the “Addicted Brain” should come up. Don’t wait to find out and get help.

Yesterday and Today –
Yesterday I wore broken shoes, Today they have all been replaced
Yesterday I looked like death, Today I look alive
Yesterday I prayed to die, Today I pray for life
Yesterday I lived in fear, Today I live in love
Yesterday I had no friends, Today I have a fellowship
Yesterday I had nothing to live for, Today I have everything to live for
Yesterday Satan was running my life, Today God is in the drivers seat.
Thank God Yesterday is gone and Today is here…God bless to all…
–Jay Goodman

I sold my soul so many years ago, sinning and dying is all I know. Giving up hope and having no faith, believing my future was just a big waste. Only to realize my soul had no price, I’ve always had it. It was just the monster inside, controlling my head like a broken device. My eye’s are open I can breathe just fine, knowing today I have a God in my life. My life’s not a waste but a work of art. This guy’s not done, not by a long-shot.

A friend this weekend ask me, “What does Sobriety mean to me,” at the time I couldn’t really give him a good answer. So after some deep thought, this is what Sobriety means to me – Sobriety is not having to look at the ground when I walk; Sobriety is being to look at myself in the mirror; Sobriety is being able to live in my own skin; Sobriety is the ability to make the hard decision versus the easy decision; Sobriety is being able to sit still and enjoy the moment; Sobriety is me and who I am…No matter how bad it gets, my worst day sober is far better than my best day High…I wouldn’t trade it for anything and I mean anything, my sobriety is priceless…Hope that answered your question…Thank you Higher Power for giving me the ability to think again…

well still not any closer to the good me now instead of getting off of dope i am just getting off. a new way of doing things even when i knew when i did it that my life would change forever. the scary part is the knowing that i just doubled my chance of never walking away. good news no longer hustling just to risky one small step at a time. not liking who i am

well things are changing.suzie left. no dope no suzie. its ok time for me. we will see where our lives go from here. i still love her.

@Susie

my story hasnt been as eventful as many i would assume. i have never been in rehab, never been arrested(yet i’ve been close). but i have withdrawled from pills and cocaine. I started smoking weed i would say freshman year of highschool. but alcohol was my first vice. my first drink was at 7 years old. i was pretty much jus a stoner kid till senior year. Pills came into the picture. i was addicted right away. i use them to this day. after every withdrawl i tell myself never again. even though i feel like i’m dying every time i will still do it. but i mix pills and coke. lately i’ve wiped out my bank account. i go to college..i dont know how i do it. but idk if i can keep doing this..but i kno i still will. i jus want cocaine so bad. i never wanted something more. i feel fucking weak and pathetic and jus want to die. but i jus want that high….! i hate myself so much.
another problem that i’m having is that a person i love so much uses even more than i do and i dont want him to die. its affecting how our relationship functions. we can barely stand each other sometimes. this sux

I am now 42 i was in to drugs and working the streets at the age of 16. I came from a good stable home just me my mum and nan . i started to get in with the wrong people when i left school starting with canabis. One of the girls was a prostitute that was smoking stuff on tin foil but the money truthfully was the attraction.One night she took me with her to Lumb lane manningham red light district ? when u get into prostitution its hard to leave but more so when youve an addiction. I remember trying heroin and been sick but after that it made what i was doing easier. you never forget the first time . Weeks later i couldnt understand why i was waking up feeling not well. As soon as i had the stuff again i was ready again. If i could turn back the clocks l.o.l.U never listen i hear one girls words so many times telling me id end up with a habit and addiction NOT ME.Now 20 plus years down the line the trouble n strife its caused not to mention 2 very violent relationships? 2 boys that have ended up bitter towards me . Recently not long had a big reality cheak which was h.m.p. for 2 years had to do a substance reoffending course which asked how ur addiction lead to ur offending good and bad points u can remember all bad but never good. U end up doing it to feel normall thinking its easier to continue regardless rather tan get your arse in to gear . Heroins a devils drug. It gets easier when addmitting theres a problem then doing something about its step 2 . If you really want to do something about it it gets easier honest. substituting with drink and other things aint the answew ? im trying to build bridges with my boys now. In a good loving relationship after been single for 6 years so it can be done ive lost so many close people along the way yes its hard but if you want it.?

After completing 4 years at the University of Northern Colorado for my Bachelor of Science in 1990, 1 year at Johns Hopkins University for my Masters in Health Science in 1996, and 2 ½ years into my Ph.D. in respiratory medicine at the Medical College of Virginia/Virginia Commonwealth University in 1996-98, I thought I had complete control of my life. Specifically, my career in aerosol respiratory medicine. I had published my first paper in a respectable peer reviewed medical journal (Chest) when I was 27. Several months after that, I presented the paper at a medical conference in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Germany. It was one of 9 trips I would take to Germany to consult with a medical company established in Starnberg, Germany.

By the time I was in my second year of my Ph.D. I had published/presented 54 medical papers, published 6 peer reviewed medical papers, was contributing author on one book, owned and operated my own consulting company in respiratory medicine, developed a patent for respiratory devices, and was progressing successfully in my Ph.D. I was 31 years old and I was proud of my accomplishments and my continuing success in respiratory medicine. But, that was all about to change. Addiction would enter my life and take away from me my possessions, my profession, my loved ones, and my sanity.

My pathway to addiction started when I made an appointment to see Dr. Cary Suter, M.D. for migraine headaches. I put great trust in him due to the fact that he was the medical schools doctor and was responsible for taking care of the students enrolled in the medical school programs. In a timeframe of 8 months I was prescribed 6,647 controlled substance pills. I had pills to help me stay awake and study, pills for helping me sleep, pills for anxiety, and pills for pain. I knew about addiction but I thought I was too intelligent to become addicted. Anyway, these pills were provided to me by the schools doctor who said he had taken pills when he was in medical school to help him succeed. My ignorance would cause me to lose almost a decade of my life and would bring me close to death many times as a result of my severe drug addiction.

Although Dr. Suter lost his medical license for over prescribing controlled substances and not monitoring that prescribing, it was too late for me. I had to drop out of my Ph.D. program due to my addiction. Dr. Suter lost his license 3 months after I dropped out of the program. At this point in my life, I had to confront and accept some very disturbing facts: I no longer was pursuing the goal I had been following for the past 15 years, I was severely addicted to prescription drugs, the doctor who had been prescribing me the drugs had his medical license revoked, and the main focus of my life was to obtain drugs. I was, in essence, trapped in the severity of my addiction. For the first time I had lost complete control over my life.

My first of numerous addiction related detrimental events came when I was presenting a medical paper at a conference in Atlanta, Georgia. Before my lecture I forged a prescription on my computer and proceeded to the pharmacy to have it filled. Since the prescription was for Demerol, the pharmacy called the doctor and verified the prescription was forged. The police were waiting for me (at the conference lecture hall) to finish my lecture and when I did they handcuffed and arrested me. I was taken out in front of all my colleagues and conference members and taken to jail. Needless to say I was immediately fired from my job as a senior aerosol scientist for a prominent German company established in the United States.

For many years I was doctor shopping. I would acquire my drugs in many ways: the internet, hospital emergency rooms, forged prescriptions, clinics, private doctors, and in other countries. I would stay employed by various companies because of my experience in respiratory medicine. But, I would ultimately get fired when my drug addiction interfered with the quality of my work. Eventually, word of my addiction became known to my colleagues and the respiratory medicine industry. From that point on, I was not called upon to lecture, to consult, or in any way work in the respiratory medicine industry. I was, for all intents and purposes, “blackballed” from my profession.

Shunned from my profession, disenchanted from my family and friends, and homeless, I fell into a deep depression. It was at this time that I wrote a suicide note and attempted to commit suicide. Over the next 9 years I would attempt suicide 1 more time, have 35 toxic overdoses, and 45 seizures. All of which brought me close to death each time.

During the 9 years of my addiction, I would periodically give the rehabilitations a try. Nine times I made a serious effort to get sober. But, every time I would relapse within weeks of being discharged. After 9 years of being an addict, I completely surrendered to my disease and came to the understanding that my addiction was not going to be successfully addressed in weeks or even in a couple months of treatment. I realized that my recovery would require at least a year in a long term residential program where I could work on my addiction issues every day with no distractions. I found that in a year-long cognitive/behavioral rehabilitation program. This program not only worked on my addiction issues but also worked on my cognitive/behavioral issues that caused me to seek out the drugs.

Currently, my life is finally in a direction I can be proud of. I graduated from a year-long in-patient residential cognitive/behavioral rehabilitation facility. My sobriety restored my clarity of thought and determination. Two attributes which were essential for completing my memoir. I believe I can inspire and educate others about addiction and recovery with my memoir.

My future is completely open with possibilities. I do know that I am very thrilled and inspired living life as a sober individual since December 25, 2007. And, for the first the first time in over 9 years I have a sense of self-confidence and respect for myself. This confidence reminds me that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. For this reason, I have enrolled and been accepted to complete my doctorate in public health education.

It has been a long, arduous, and self-revealing journey through my 9 years of addiction to recovery. Unfortunately along the way I became deceitful, dishonest, unreliable, and untrustworthy. On the other hand I can proclaim that through my suffering and adversity came great rewards and prosperity. Today, I will continue to advocate for those affected by this disease of addiction. It is a passion and a pathway that I will pursue for the rest of my life.

david_loffert@live.com