Drug Addiction Stories

Sometimes I look back over that time and I cry. I remember Janelle and to this day I feel like I failed her. I even get angry, at her, at myself and at the people who make decisions about who can and can not get a donor transplant. 

I met Janelle through my daughter. She was the aunt of one of my daughter’s friends. Because Janelle and her brother had both been adopted by their parents, there were no DNA matches in the family when Janelle’s kidneys failed. My daughter came home upset because her friend’s aunt was in the hospital. She was close to Janelle because she lived in the house with my daughter’s friend and her family.

When the idea first occurred to me, I thought about it long and hard. Then I talked to my doctor. I was healthy and I could donate a kidney if I matched Janelle. It turned out that I did. I then went through the process of the mental evaluation and passed it. We were all delighted that I matched, although my daughter was a bit concerned. Still, I reassured her that I was healthy enough to do this.

It never happened. Why? Because Janelle was turned down. Her kidney failure was due to drug and alcohol use. It turned out that she was still drinking and heroin was found in her system during a blood test. The transplant was denied. A few months later, Janelle passed away.

Her niece and my daughter were heartbroken. Even as a supposedly mature adult, I did not understand why she was turned down when the decision was mine because of her being who she was. I had long been a registered organ donor. This would have helped someone loved by my daughter’s friend.

I felt like I had failed Janelle. I even felt like she had failed in this. In the end, though, I knew I could not continue to dwell on it. I do what I can just as I always have, I donate blood and plasma as needed, I volunteer in my community and I keep my organ donation registration updated every time I re-do my driver’s license.

Still, once in a while, I think about Janelle and I have talked openly and honestly with my daughter about the long term effects of drugs and alcohol. She seems to be a well-adjusted young lady and she proved it the other day when she told me she knew I had tried to help her friend’s aunt and for that, she loved me even more. Then she told me that the two of them had made a pact to never get involved with drugs or alcohol no matter what the occasion or what type of peer pressure they came in contact with.

I whispered in my heart to Janelle that she was a hero in all of this because in the end, she had given her niece and my daughter both a priceless gift in their decision. For that, I will always be thankful to Janelle.