Drug Addiction Stories & Info

I had made it through the two weeks in rehab, but I was not convinced I was getting any better, I still wanted to use drugs – but I convinced myself to stick with it, as it was some good clean time.  The therapists poked and prodded and were digging deep to help me understand why my disease took hold, even though the whole disease thing did not sit well with me.  The thing that confused me was that I made the choice to do drugs; no one in my family ever did drugs and my mother was not a drug user or drinker while she was pregnant.  I just found it hard to believe that I could develop a disease based on a personal choice that I made.  I was going to stick with the help however, because maybe they could get somewhere with me and I could learn some new ways to stay clean.   I never though rehab would be a miracle cure for me, but I did think it would give me some new insight into why this happened and how I can change for good.

I managed to get into some good routines while in treatment and got my own health back to normal, it was a nice

I managed to get drug-free.

feeling being rested on a daily basis and actually eating right for a change.  The days were passing by very quickly, and I decided not to call my parents. I figured if I have come this far, I would wait until I finished the program all together.  The therapy turned out to be quite helpful as I managed to locate some triggers that pushed me back to drug use and I handled some of the traumatic events that happened in my life, overall I felt good, but there was still something that was there, something that I could not put my finger on.  I knew why I started using drugs and I figured out why I continued, but for some reason I was not really fully happy with what I saw in the mirror everyday.

My graduation day was coming and I seemed to be ready according to the doctors.  They would help me get set up in a transition house to help develop further skills and help with the transition into society.  I was still doubting something, but could not figure out what it was; I would see how the transition house went and take it from there.  After I graduated I decided to call my parents and to my surprise they were quite relieved to even hear from me and even happier that I had got help; yet, I could still hear some hesitation in their voice as they spoke to me, and rightfully so.  I had screwed my family over so many times; I expected them to have some reserve.  I told them where I would be staying and where I was working, and they told me they would make some time to come visit.  Everything seemed to be going as planned and falling into place.  The halfway house was nothing fancy by any means and was ran by a group of people whom seemed decent.  We had to do most of everything ourselves, which was not a problem and the fact that I had a job helped out significantly.  They would do random drug tests, and if we were caught using they would just kick us out.

I managed to complete the transition program quite well and was back to a regular routine.  The room I was renting from my co-worker was still available and I got back to working regular hours again.  I still had the recurring thought in my head, I was not completely happy with what I saw everyday in the mirror.  I have battled a lot up to this point, my 30^th birthday was coming soon, and I wanted to be sure I was comfortable with everything.  I had nothing really to show for my life, no real education and no real work experience or significant life experience besides years of drug abuse.  This could actually be it; I needed more, I needed more challenges in my life and I needed to expand who I was.  What I was thinking at the time made absolutely no sense to me, but I knew what I had to do.