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Posts Tagged ‘drugs’

The Girl I Was Back Then

September 1st, 2010

Even today I hear the whispers as I entered the classroom that morning.  It was 8th gDrug Addiction Stories   The Girl I Was Back Thenrade and I had spent the summer with my cousins.  I had “blossomed” as we said back then.  By lunchtime, the whispers and giggles were no longer hidden as the girls glared at me and one of the more obnoxious boys came up to me and flat out said “So Dianne, where did you get the falsies?”  Without hesitation, I lifted my t-shirt and asked “Do these look fake to you?” 

That began three years of hell that I have not forgotten to this day.  I dreaded going to school but with both my parents working 12 hour shifts at the local factory, I did not want to burden them with my problems at school.  They let us know enough that we were burdens as it was, me and my two younger brothers. 

It was just a few weeks after school started that another girl, another “outcast” stopped by my locker and asked if I wanted to hang out some time.  That was how I got introduced to pot.  I loved how it made me feel able to drift away from the teasing at school.  During high school, we got into cocaine. I did my best to try to hide my figure and getting hooked on drugs helped me stay skinny but it didn’t hide certain attributes. 

I got clean when my aunt came to stay with us after her husband died.  She was alone as they had never had children and it did not take long for her to figure out what was going on, even though her brother (my dad) and sister-in-law were clueless to what had been going on. 

My aunt saved me in two ways.  She helped me clean up my act and get off drugs, but she also showed me what going to bat for someone means.  She had come to school to pick me up for a “girl’s day out” when classes were over and that same, obnoxious boy from the falsies statement three years earlier was making remarks about me again, only he had gotten louder and meaner over the years. 

Without batting an eye, my aunt looked at him and smiled.  “Are you Jerry B’s son?”  He nodded yes.  “I thought so.  He used to tease me all the time, too.  In fact, I remember the note he gave me asking me to go to the drive-in with him.  I turned him down flat.  You are definitely your father’s son, teasing the girl you are crushing on.  Just like your father, you are going about it all wrong.  She doesn’t date jerks, either.” 

The other kids laughed and he turned red.  Sure enough, he did end up asking me to prom a year later.  I said no without hesitation.  They say boys tease girls they like?  All I got out of remembering those years is how he acted that day in 8th grade and a drug addiction that could have ended everything for me if not for the love and caring of my aunt.  Today, I am happily married with two daughters about to start junior high.  I am very actively involved in their lives.  I’m not going to let them be bullied by some boy who doesn’t know how to express himself in a positive way.  I heard the boy from my own adolescent years just had his third wife file for divorce.  Seems the girl I was back then got the better end of the deal after all.

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It’s Not Too Late

August 23rd, 2010

Drug Addiction Stories   Its Not Too LateI’m writing this as a person who knows what an addiction to drugs can do first-hand, both from the view of a family member and then someone who got involved with drugs myself.  My parents were drug addicts, both of them.  It was not hard for my older sister and I to get into drugs when we were around them 24/7.  Neither of my parents could keep a job.  It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out they were dealing as well as using.

When CPS came and took us away, we were sent to live with our grandmother.  She constantly put us down, saying we were losers just like our parents.  My older sister took off the day after her 17th birthday.  I was 14 and had no one left to turn to.  So I turned to drugs. 

The other kids at my new school did not seem to care about getting to know me.  It did not take long after my sister took off for me to get in with the outcasts, the kids who sat on the sidelines in gym, who sat on one side of the cafeteria, who did not go to the games or get involved with extra-curricular activities. 

I would get high and drink until I was numb, but some nights, I still cried myself to sleep, missing my parents, my sister and wondering why my grandmother hated me so much.  Then one day, I got up late.  She had not gotten me up for school in her usual loud way.  I went to see where she was and found my grandmother had died in her sleep.  I found out after the paramedics came that it had been a heart attack.

I cringed that day.  I had just turned 15 and knew I would go into the system as a foster child.  But as I sat in the apartment with the social worker, I heard my name called after the front door opened.  It was my sister!  She was 18 and working, had gotten herself off drugs with the help of a co-worker, gotten into church and was begging the CPS worker to let her move in to the apartment and take care of me.  She had her pastor and several church friends with her. 

I am now 22 and about to graduate from college.  My sister has been my rock and my shelter.  Together, she and I volunteer to help other kids who find themselves in turmoil thanks to drugs and alcohol and family problems.  They seem to listen to us because they know we have been there. 

If you find yourself in my position, don’t wait until a family tragedy befalls you.  Get help now.  Call a hotline, call a pastor, call a youth counselor.  People really do want to help and guess what?  I know you don’t believe you are worth it because I felt that way. But you really are.   Make the call.  It’s not too late.

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Remembering Jamie

June 10th, 2010

Drug Addiction Stories   Remembering JamieHe had been coming to church with us for several weeks. I loved him and we had a history together. He was my cousin and our families had always been close. Still, as teens, I went off to college and Jamie turned to drugs. While in college, I met the guy I was to marry and moved to the northeast with him. A promotion and transfer brought us back to the south in the city closest to my small home town.

One day, I ran into Jamie. He grabbed me and said “Cousin! I’ve missed you!” I barely recognized him. The drugs had made him seem older than he was. Still, he was my cousin and I loved him and was happy to see him.

As time went by, I noticed that Jamie’s perception of things was vastly different than that of most people. He insisted events happened that never did or didn’t that everyone else clearly remembered. He even became adamant that he knew things more experienced people didn’t, such as the night we were in a restaurant and a person had a heart attack. Fortunately, a doctor was there with his family and was able to aid the person until the paramedics arrived but Jamie began yelling that the doctor didn’t know what he was doing. Jamie said he was certified in CPR and he was, in high school during a class that we were all taught nearly 20 years earlier. But that was no match for a doctor’s skills and here was my cousin, starting a ruckus as my husband and I steered him out of the restaurant.

We began inviting him to church. He went for three weeks and then one morning, as I called to let him know we were on our way, a stranger answered the phone. He identified himself as a police officer. My cousin Jamie had overdosed and his roommate had called it in. The paramedics had been unable to revive him.

My heart broke at the news. Jamie had needed help. I had talked him into going to church but he had refused rehab and was trying to stop on his own. With friends and a roommate in that lifestyle, overcoming addiction had turned out to be impossible.

That was two years ago. To this day I miss the Jamie I grew up. I just wanted to share this because I want others to know that if they hooked on drugs, rehab really is the way to go. So please, do it for yourselves, for your families and for those who no longer have that opportunity…like my cousin, Jamie.

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