Making a Brand New Start
It’s not easy to make a new start after addiction to drugs, and Matt was doing it hard. He’d been on methadone a couple of months and it was beginning to get him down.
At first it had seemed like the answer, the answer to a prayer – to get your drugs free from the clinic and not have to worry about supply – but that as it turned out is the problem, at least it was for Matt. He was constantly frustrated, feeling strung out – but the doctor would not increase his dose.
True enough the doctor had adjusted the dose before, and now he was saying that it was about time that Matt got adjusted to the dose he was getting, and would not discuss it any further.
Matt couldn’t relax, he felt unsettled, felt edgy all the time. He was starting to think he’d made a mistake getting into this methadone program – he wanted to break out and get really ripped – stay high for a week.
His parents felt relaxed for the first time in years – their son was on the methadone program. Sure, occasionally he looked rough, failed to respond to conversation, but they had been warned that there would be times when methdone would not be enough to stop the heroin cravings, and that as a family they must bear it.
Matt was encouraged to take a course, to catch him up for entry into the workforce. Matt had dropped out of school, not studied at all, failed to sit for any exams. He looked at the courses, but none of them looked very interesting to Matt.
Matt would have been happy to work for the council, attending to the parks and gardens, but his parents told him it was a dead end job – he needed to do the catch up course. Matt didn’t know how to tell them that study wasn’t his thing.
One morning at breakfast Dad asked Matt had he thought any more about the course, Matt said he didn’t want to study, he wanted to work in the parks, get a bobcat ticket, use a front end loader, get some exercise and work in the sun.
His mother said nothing at all and looked expectantly at Matt’s father, who simply said son, you already know my view on that. As you are on this methadone program, I’ll give you some more time to reconsider the course.
Matt felt like a pit in his stomach had opened up, felt like he was crying inside, his throat was all choked up. Matt felt compacted, compressed - by what, he didn’t know.
But all that Matt’s Dad saw was Matt’s rigid face, his fixed stare that looked towards the front door of the house, at the end of the hall.
Matt stood up, he wanted some space, he wanted to feel free. Once out the front door, it was less than an hour before he’d contacted one of his mates from his heroin days and got himself a fix. Once the effects of that wore off Matt fell into a heap. He stretched out on his bed at home. He simply wanted to die.
Later that night Matt was prowling the house, feeling like a tiger in captivity, didn’t want to go out because he knew that if he went out, he would end up doing heroin. And something inside him said no.
He got connected to internet – looking for a video – a song, anything to distract himself from thinking about the drugs.
And so by chance he googled up video gallery heroin – and on the page some words rivetted his attention -
a 12 year heroin addict – over the years, he got hooke……
Marc Murphy it was about, a musician, that Matt had never heard of .……but, he had been a heroin addict for 12 years – what had happened to him?
Matt expected it would be an overdose death – that was the usual fate of artists and musicians that got addicted to drugs. Look at Michael Jackson. Matt was in that frame of mind that truely, he was expecting and wanting to read a really powerful story about an addict who ended up dead.
Seeing the item, in some strange way brought a release of tension, a sort of satisfaction – Matt wanted to read about heroin, find out what had happened to Marc, so he opened it up.
Matt couldn’t relate to what he saw – a young lad just like him – no dead frontman from a band that he had never heard of, but a young lad who sounded just like him.
Heroin……Methadone…….What he was given added more to the problem………. Narconon doesn’t use other drugs – to get people off drugs.
Yeah Narconon Matt thought. What the hell was Narconon anyway, that this Marc had used.
Matt was still glued to the computer as birds began to sing, and for the first time in years, he felt inwardly relaxed.
He waited til breakfast, sat down at the table, said Dad I’ve got something to say to you – it’s about a drug program I found - it can get me off heroin, methadone, alcohol – off to a new start.
Well, I don’t know, said his father – we’ve got you on this methadone program that seems to be working out fine… Matt stood up, walked round the table, took his father by the shoulders – said stand up and come to my room – I will show you, on the computer.
Matt is now clean, in a sort of way – he’s completely free of drugs – but his mother complains, with a big smile on her face about the aroma of diesel and cow manure that she has to wash out of his work clothes.
After about a week on the Oxy, I realized the pain was much better, but it didn’t stop me from continuing taking the drug. In fact, I went to the doctor for more, only I told him that the pain wasn’t better. When I did get more, I tried crushing the pill to experience that wonderful high that Oxy brings. Oh yeah, I was addicted to OxyContin and it was getting worse. Although I had never before injected any kind of drug, I had heard that injecting Oxy was a very nice high, so…I tried it. I felt so incredible! I felt relaxed and yet enlightened. My body and my mind both felt so immensely pleasant. The high didn’t last too long, but I thought it was worth it, so I continued doing it.
She said she had to stop back at her house, so I followed her in. Sitting there in her living room were my kids, one of my friends, and some guy I’d never seen before. The look on their faces said it all, and my entire mood shifted. My kids had planned an intervention. That was to become the worst, and the best day of my life.


