We moved to Arizona when I was thirteen. I hated leaving my old school but my dad was in the military and when he gets orders, we move. I did not know anyone but eventually became friends with a guy down the street. We began hanging out at the basketball court and the base pool over that summer and eventually I started looking forward to school in the fall.
One night he told me he knew where we could get something. I asked what and he said, “You’re kidding, right?” Not wanting to seem like a baby, I said “Yeah, dude, just messing with you.” We went over to a friend of his who’s mom was out partying that night and I got high for the first time. My anxiety about a new school and making new friends disappeared.
Over the next couple of years, my grades were acceptable but not at the point they had been. My dad kept telling me I could do better. My mom offered to get me a tutor. I just wanted to get high.
Then one night as we were riding around, my buddy having just got his license, we got stopped by the local cops. They could sense something funny about my friend and searched the car, finding the pot we had just bought. They arrested us and called our parents.
That was three years ago. My parents were really disappointed in me but they stood by me. They insisted I take responsibility and they got me into a drug treatment program. My dad ended up retiring this year and we have settled into the community.
I just started my freshman year of college and I also help at the drug rehab center my parents took me to three years ago. I am interested in becoming a counselor and helping other kids who find themselves where I was as a teenager. The counselors there seemed to understand and did not put me down while at the same time not letting me use excuses. When we get into drugs, we need to take responsibility.
I heard horror stories of kids who’s parents turned their backs on them or were into drugs themselves. I was thankful even more that my parents were there for me, and it made me want to help those who did not have a strong family unit like I did. My parents are both supporting me in my career of choice and my mom thinks I am going to make a great counselor.
You know, I always assumed that drug addiction meant an addiction to one drug. I learned the hard way that it isn’t always true. Roy was a sweet, albeit “hillbilly” looking man that I dated for a couple of year’s way back when. Roy was sweet, but believe me, I saw the rough side of him too. He was a bodyguard and was always armed. If he believed for a second that anyone would hurt the woman he was protecting, he could be very mean. There was always a crowd of people at the house. There was always a party going on and I admit, I was part of it. The woman Roy protected was a drug dealer. We called her “Ma” and a small group of us always got to party for free. When “the family” was alone in the house, everyone pretty much got whatever drug they wanted. While I preferred to stay with the marijuana and occasionally cocaine, Roy was doing the hard stuff. After a while, I noticed he was not only doing A drug, but several, and drinking.
He never got mean toward me but he did start getting meaner to other people.
Roy was doing acid, cocaine, marijuana and drinking; and that was on the nights he was hitting light. He never got mean toward me but he did start getting meaner to other people. He even started getting dangerous. He would draw that gun on way too many occasions and sometimes with a house full of people. When the group would go out, more than likely, Roy would get into a fight or two. Of course, everyone in the group was at least three sheets to the wind, so we thought it was funny.
When I met Roy, he had a healthy appetite. As time went on, he barely ate. His eyes became sunken and had dark circles. He began to experience some serious medical issues too but wouldn’t do anything about them. This sweet, good-looking man who always called me his wife was becoming a shell of a person and very different from the man I started dating. Well, I was caught up in it too. I did my share of smoking and snorting and did nothing as Roy would down one drug after another. For two years it went on like this. Then Ma started getting in even more types of drugs. The parties continued.
I was just like any normal teenager with a life that was normal, filled with activities, sports and was a brilliant student at academics as well. Probably a sort of kid every parent would want to have, not until I fell into the wrong group, made just one wrong decision that turned my whole life and youth around. Little did I even know that it would grab my entire life in its claws and squeeze every bit off me as well as those close to me.
Like other addicts, my childhood was not filled with turmoil. I had the best of parents, good education and many good friends. When I ended up in college, I wanted to be even cooler and much more popular than I was. I ended up making a few wrong friends who were already into cocaine and smoked marijuana. Something I knew about, but hanging around them gave me some sort of aristocratic feeling. Until one evening at a friend’s gala birthday party, I was smoothly forced into taking just a drag. Then I didn’t think I would end up being an addict, what went through my mind then was that I would definitely have the will power to over come it.
Although being envied for showing the best will power, I acted against it. I ended up asking for a bit on occasions. Very soon these occasions were frequent and the frequency only increased, and so did the cravings. I soon used up all my saved money that I had collected from working part time. I couldn’t even afford it anymore! The least thing on my mind was loosing any of my friends or my job. And to my utter surprise that’s just what happened. Not that I cared much about it, since all that was on my mind was where I would get the best cocaine.
Now I have just a few friends that I can count on just one hand, don’t go out much too often. Dislike meeting people and think I am really cool. I have no explanation to this addiction and how I can get rid of it. Some part of me wants to quit strongly, but it seems so impossible. The day I plan to do so, the cravings get even more intense, and I end up doing cocaine even more. I am like a zombie now, with not many interests that attract my attention. When I am high on cocaine, I am on a roll and in seventh heaven.
I need to get out of this drug addiction really quick; I do know subconsciously of the consequences and might even probably suffer from them. I am at a desperate stage now, and would like someone to help me get rid of this addiction.
