The Ups and Downs of Mother Nature
I had forgotten this feeling. One of freedom and euphoria without drugs. A feeling of remembering every part of the day and evening without blackouts associated with it. My experience with drugs is parallel to the ups and downs of Mother Nature.
I had been a pretty normal teenager. Stayed out of trouble, decent grades in high school and enjoying extra curricular activities such as sports and drama club. Then I got into the college of my dreams but at the same time, my dad died. Suddenly I was facing financial problems because my mom was barely getting by with two more kids left at home. There was no life insurance, my dad worked at a factory.
I worked two jobs and went to school. Then one night I took off and went to a party with a friend from Theater class. That was the night I tried heroin for the first time and the night I my life changed for the second time.
Life during that time was like Mother Nature: storm warnings, dark clouds, volcano eruptions. I was missing class and missing work but barely made it through my freshman year with Cs and Ds. Over the summer, my mother caught the changes and went Hurricane Mom on me. She told me that she was not going to let me throw my life away and that I owed it to myself and to the memory of my dad to get help. She got me into drug rehab.
The treatment program was a God send. The counseling not only helped me work out the tools I needed to get clean but it also helped me with the grief I still felt over my dad dying. I spent most of the summer in the program and after talking to my mom, decided to finish college locally so I could live at home and have my family’s support.
I am a junior now. My sophomore year was a lot easier. Sure, it would have been nice to stay at the college that had been my first choice but in the end, I know that being with Mom and my brother and sister is best for now. My mom and I have long talks and she is my best friend.
These days I feel like someone who has been released. I still miss my dad but I know that he is up there somewhere watching over me. My dad loved the ocean and when I walk along the coastline not too far from our home, I know he is out there watching over me, my mom and my brother and sister. I feel the calm presence of the sea and I remember the times my dad used to run along the shoreline and we would along behind him. I love being drug free again and feeling those old feelings and memories.
