You might think this title to be odd for a tale, especially one week before Mother’s Day. However this story, brought to you by Narconon, has an happy ending. It shows that the love of a mother is more powerful than addiction.
The most wonderful thing that has ever happened in my life was born on Oct 17, 2006. She had a head of full, dark hair and the bluest eyes I’d ever seen. I named her Atiya. I’d never known such joy in all my life. Being a single parent was tough, and I had my share of hard times, but she always made me smile. Always. I couldn’t bring myself to go back to work until she was 4 months old. I cried that first day back.
We were so close. We made each other laugh, and her smile was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. We loved going to the park, and getting ice cream. She’d say, “we’re buddies, huh mom”. Life was sweet for the two of us until the car accident. A drunk driver clipped us while we drove to the park. I remember waking up and the first thing I said was “Is Atiya Ok?” Thankfully, she was bruised and had a few cuts, but I was able to call my Mother to come get her from the hospital. I had to mend a bit before I went home.
Four days after the accident, I and my cracked rib went home to be with my precious baby. It hurt like hell, but they gave me some Oxycontin for the pain. I couldn’t lift Atiya up, but I could still be with her. Atiya didn’t leave my side for days after I got home. She was like a little mama the way she showed concern. She would even go to the refrigerator and get me a soda. It took a while getting used to the Oxycontin. At first, it made me sleep, but it eased the pain, and in a way, made me feel incredible. After a few days, I didn’t sleep as much, but the pain was so bad, I started taking two pills instead of just one. It felt good to relax and also to have the pain lessened.
Atiya and I would read and play games, but I had a hard time keeping up with her. I would call my Mom to get her quite often, which I never used to do. She used to say I was “hogging” Atiya because I never wanted to let her go anywhere without me. Mom loved having her at her house, and Atiya missed me, but she had fun there. Meanwhile, I enjoyed taking my Oxy and relaxing. I still couldn’t work, so I pretty much had all day to do what I wanted. I did have to go to my doctor for more pain medication. Since the rib hadn’t healed, he wrote a prescription right away.
I’m not sure what happened, but one day, I lifted something I shouldn’t have, and my rib just hurt SO badly. I went to the Emergency room, but I hadn’t done any damage. They gave me more Oxy and sent me home. I was truly in pain…a LOT of pain. I ended up chewing the Oxycontin instead of taking it whole. I cannot describe how fantastic I felt. The pain went away, and I didn’t have a care in the world! Since I hadn’t been able to work, I had begun playing computer games to pass the time, especially when Atiya was at my Mom’s house. Chewing some Oxy and playing games became routine.
Atiya would come home, and I’d read to her, but really all I wanted to do was be alone and enjoy my Oxy and my games. She was cute, I’ll give her that, but I just didn’t want to be bothered. I’d end up calling Mom before the day was out to have her pick up Atiya. Mom started to get worried, but I told her I’d be fine after the rib healed. She commented that it should already be healing, but I brushed it off. I had moved up to chewing two Oxycontin every couple of hours, but the doctor was starting to hesitate prescribing more. So, I went to another clinic and got more.
That went on for months. I became like a zombie. All I did was play my computer games, talk on the phone with my friends, and little else. Atiya rarely came home anymore, but she called every night. It probably would have continued like that except for one pivotal moment. My Mom brought Atiya over, unannounced. She wanted to play a game with me, but I told her I was tired. She turned to my Mother and said something I will never forget…”Grandma, why doesn’t Mommy like me anymore”. In that moment…I don’t know…I had a glimpse of the past and I saw us together as we once were. Laughing, playing, just being “buddies”.
For the first time in months, I looked, I mean really looked at my baby girl. I saw her tears and my heart sank. I wanted to run into my room, chew some Oxy and forget, but my Mom said; “Your Mommy loves you, Atiya. And to prove it, she is going to get help”. Thank God I walked out that door with my Mother and my little girl to go to rehab. Otherwise, I don’t know that I ever would have gotten back my relationship with my beautiful daughter. How could I have given all of that up for a drug? I still can’t answer that, I just know that Oxy almost cost me the most precious thing in my life, and I’m glad it didn’t. Read more…