Seek Heroin, Will Travel – Part 2
How did you end up living on the streets?
A few days before I turned 16 years old, I ran away from home and started staying with street kids. Before that on weekends I would go downtown and, while pretending to stay at a friend’s place, I was with street kids, staying at shelters or wherever – so I was already familiar with the street. I know it sounds strange because I was not homeless, but this is what happened.
At the time I saw this as a form of “freedom;” I did not want restrictions or a curfew, having to tell my parents where I
The truth is that I was already hanging out with junkies before I went to Vancouver. I knew I would do needles so while I was still in Montreal...
was all the time, or whatever. I also thought that “trash” looked good, not actual trash that you throw out but the mix of styles, the look of falling apart. I also liked the punk style a lot, the bright colors, the “resist and refuse” attitude, the “I do what I want” attitude, rebel and whatnot. On the street you don’t really exist, you are off the “grid” or off the “radar.”
So how did you get into the “drug culture”?
The drugs started with PCP as it was easily available. I would be asked “Do you want some?” and I would answer “yes” because I felt I couldn’t say no. It was peer pressure in a way; it was like “I don’t know these people so I have to impress them.” They were doing it and so did I. After that I took whatever was around and ended up liking it, the dead feeling that you got from drugs. All the pain would go away, any physical pain I had in me, mental pain and so on. I didn’t think my life was fun, or so it seemed.
All the people I was hanging out with were alcoholics, although they wouldn’t typically consider that a problem, and pot smokers – no chemicals and definitely no needles. Sometimes it was chemicals, and this was usually acid (LSD ) or PCP.
I was curious: since I was doing drugs now I wanted to try heroin. But there was absolutely no way you could do it with them. So I didn’t even mention it. I heard that in Vancouver there was a street called Hastings and you could just get it easily, so I hitchhiked to Vancouver with some “friends” (they weren’t really). We got stuck in Calgary on the way and I stayed there for about three weeks (my so-called friend did not want to continue), where I started doing mushrooms a lot. I really liked them so I took them too much and although I would not overdose to the point of going to the hospital, I would have a bad trip almost every time. Or I would take alcohol or whatever was available – there was not something specific I was going after.
It took about three weeks before I found someone else to go with – you need someone because there are rules to hitchhiking: It’s best to have a guy and a girl, never a guy and a guy or a girl or guy alone, because it is too dangerous or suspicious. That’s what you learn – a guy and girl just look like they’re going somewhere.
So I found a suitable individual and when we got to Vancouver, we parted ways. Then I met up with a friend that I knew from Montreal and stayed for about two months in the city or maybe more, I don’t really remember. I did whatever drugs were available as something to do: When you are on the streets you are either panhandling to get money to eat or doing drugs. What else is there to do living like that?
Tell us how you escalated to using heroin…
When I arrived in Vancouver I started looking for heroin but it was more of a covert search. I knew it was something not to be proud of. The majority of individuals think that heroin is not a good thing, it’s a dangerous drug, no one actually wants to do it, you don’t go after it, you don’t ask, etc. So I didn’t because I knew that people would just talk me out of it.
I met up with friends, got to know the area somewhat – the shelters and the good areas to sleep, like churches which don’t kick you off their land if you sleep on their front porch, I go to know good panhandling spots and so on. I would tell all kinds of stories just to get money. The goal was $20 and I got bored easily, so I would spend a couple of hours on average panhandling. (It was easier in Calgary: one guy gave me $160, I got free pizza to eat, etc.)
After two weeks when I arrived in Vancouver, I was hanging out with this guy and some friends, and one day they started smoking some powder in a light bulb. I was fairly intelligent and so I knew that this was heroin but I pretended I didn’t know. This was because I didn’t want them to know that I really wanted to take the drug as they may have taken it away from me. So they went “Here, you want some?” and I said “Yeah, sure… what is this?” This was my introduction to heroin.
I was only smoking it, which was called “chasing the dragon,” while I was there. However, when I returned to Montreal I started shooting drugs for the first time. It was cocaine and it was free, so I took it (it was already in the needle which was not very bright). Then I decided – as I was already using needles already – I might as well start shooting heroin.
The truth is that I was already hanging out with junkies before I went to Vancouver. I knew I would do needles so while I was still in Montreal, I would find free needles at needle drop-off places and practice taking blood out of me – just to get the feel of what it is like. I wanted to know how to do it right for when I started shooting drugs. I used needles for about five months in all and was taking heroin for about nine months in total.
TO BE CONTINUED…
