Drug Addiction Stories

It’s a little after 2 in the morning. I can’t sleep. Monday is going to be rough and I just want to have a drink so bad. I can’t chance it, though. I have to keep my head clear when all I want is to just get drunk and forget what life has given me because of two very special people, my daughter and my son. One is here, asleep in the other room, the other was murdered a year ago. 

My husband and I had some problems. We split up. I just knew we would get back together but some girl a few years younger than us caught his eye. Before I knew it, they were living together while I was pregnant with our baby girl.

Last year, he picked up our three year old son and took him over there to spend a few days. I was prepared to go into labor any day. It was the last time I saw either of them. My husband’s girlfriend? She was on crack and also seeing another guy. The two of them were messed up and caught by my husband. He began yelling at them. Told them both to get out according to the neighbors who could hear it. One of them called 911 but it was too late.

Before the police arrived, the guy pulled a gun on my husband and then shot our baby for screaming. Then he shot the girlfriend (she survived) before turning the gun on himself.

I actually went into labor at the service for my son and husband. Now I have the most beautiful little girl in the world and she keeps me sane. I feel sad for her, though. She will never know her wonderful big brother or her special father. She will never have the protective arm of either one.

Still, I do what I can to give her a good life. I work hard and I have her in a wonderful day care center that encourages parents to pop in. I spend time with her in Mommy and Me on Saturdays and we are members of a really good church.

There are times like tonight, though, when I just want a drink, when I just want to forget what happened and pretend my little boy is in the other room sound asleep in his bed. There are times when I want to pretend my husband is at work and will be home for supper. There are times when I want to wake up and find out this past year was just a horrible nightmare.

I hear my little girl stirring. I guess I woke her up with my typing and moving around in here. I only hope and pray she never goes through what I did as a mother. One of these days, when she is old enough to understand, I will tell her how she saved my own sanity and how she is my personal hero.

I kept dreading that when the new baby came, they would discover alcohol in his system and then CPS would whoosh in and take all of the kids. Things had come full circle when it came to alcohol. I was the child of alcoholics and now my daughter is an alcoholic and has children. I didn’t think she would, but she called me on the day the baby was born and I went up to see him. He was gorgeous, full head of hair, 10 fingers, 10 toes and he seemed very responsive. I breathed a sigh of relief. The adoptive parents came in and so did the doctor. The doctor informed the adoptive parents that my daughter had consumed alcohol while pregnant and it could lead to problems but they were already in love with the baby they had named Asa.

I still worry about Asa. In the end, my daughter decided on an open adoption for which I am thankful. In the beginning she said she didn’t even want to see the baby or pick out his parents. My daughter continues to drink and heaven forbid, but the last time I saw her, I turned to my youngest daughter and said “Does she look like she’s getting thicker again”?

This daughter is the one of whom I have always been so proud. She was a good girl and out of all of my children, she is the last one I would have expected this from. I see the grandkids from time to time now, thankfully. I usually have them one night a week or so. At one point, in frustration over the alcoholism muttered “Thanks Mom and Dad”, who are both gone now. Then I realized that I had grandparents who had been alcoholics as well. My daughter didn’t choose to become an alcoholic, although she is choosing to stay one. The same goes for my parents and grandparents.

Alcoholism doesn’t discriminate and it can be totally random. Since I was not an alcoholic, I certainly didn’t expect any of my children to be. I worry for my grandkids. I hope they all, especially little Asa is spared the dreaded addiction. His life was spared, thank goodness, so let’s hope that he will be spared a life of alcoholism too.

I was in complete shock to learn that my oldest daughter was pregnant with her third child in 2 ½ years. I did not find out until she was very far along in her pregnancy and it meant she had been lying to me for months about it. Then I realized the amount of drinking she had been doing and my heart sank. Having studied in the medical field, I knew what fetal alcohol syndrome could do to a child and worry was an every day part of my life from that day forward. When I confronted my daughter about being pregnant and drinking, she moved out that very night.

She was also an alcoholic

My daughter became someone I didn’t know. She would hang up on me if I said anything about the kids or the unborn baby, and she would say things like “Oh, you think YOU were a good mother?” This was my sensitive and sweet daughter, mind you. This is the daughter I would never have expected this behavior from. She didn’t come over very often and in the beginning, I didn’t see my two lovely grandchildren at all. I was so concerned about the baby that it would make me physically ill. I found out the baby was a boy and I also learned that my daughter had planned to give him up for adoption.

She was staying with a woman who was great with the grandkids, but, she was also an alcoholic. Her doctor called CPS and they paid me a visit, among others. The last thing I wanted was for all of the babies to be taken away from my daughter and yet I was so concerned about the drinking. I informed CPS that IF it came down to it, I did not particularly want to raise any more children, but I would care for my grandkids for as long as it took for my daughter to get sober. He agreed that even over her protests, if the kids were taken away, they would come to me. I simply could not believe all of this was happening. Now, I had a grandson on the way and had no idea what complications he would have as a result of the alcohol my daughter had consumed throughout the pregnancy. It wasn’t going to be long before he was here, and we would all find out.